Brandi

I’m being brainwashed. My boyfriend is using my high sex drive to systematically alter my attitudes and beliefs. I’m turning into a stepford wife and I’m liking it. I went over to his house last Saturday in a french maid’s outfit and started vacuuming. He used the fucking hose on me. I was shrieking like a deranged person. The motor on the vacuum cleaner started over heating. But my clit got all plumped up from it. We are going to order a clitoral suction cylinder and a hand pump because of the experience. His kinkiness is another reason I’m going stepford. I was worried that he might be vanilla but he’s not. He loves kinky games and I love that about him. I just can’t get enough of him.

Actually, the tables have been turned. He’s interested in going to a play party and I don’t want him there. I don’t want to share him, I’m feeling monogamous and territorial. Isn’t that funny? We’re going to go and just observe. I don’t want him spanking or tickling or touching anyone but me!!!

Another morning of lazing in bed. I could get used to this. I love being woke up by Michael’s erection poking me (he calls it a piss hard-on…whatever!). I started a game where I tried to get his cock inside me without waking him. I haven’t done it once. He, on the other had, has woke me up 3 times this week with a cock in my cunt.

“Breaking and entering,” he told me.

It isn’t a fair game, he doesn’t have to mount me which makes it a lot easier for him. He is a light sleeper and I sleep like the dead. Most of the time when he touches me, I think it’s an extension of a dream I’m having. The list of reasons why he wins goes on and on. He just teases me and says I’m too competitive.

“After all, it’s not like you’re losing.”

I have to agree. It’s definitely a winning situation for me. This morning I woke up to feel his cock inside me, his left arm wrapped around me pinning me while his fingers pinched and twisted my hardening nipples.

“I win” he whispered.

My immediate reaction was rooted in my competitive nature. I struggled to dislodge him, I tried to elbow him in the rib cage and escape. Twisting, squirming, arching my back, I tried to bite. His laughter inflamed me. Furious and frenzied my fight against him was useless. His arms were like steel, pinning me to him. Pushing against him, frustrated and enraged, a deep growling emanated from my throat. He playfully growled back at me, kissing me on the back of my neck. Tweaking my nipples with his thumb and forefinger, he slowly moved his shaft inside me. He used shallow strokes to prevent me from dislodging him, barely moving out an inch before grinding his cock back in to me. And just like that, it went from fight to fuck for me. All the energy build up and adrenaline rush that went into the struggle was redirected as an orgasmic surge flowed through my body. Instinctively he knew that the game had changed and I felt him loosen his grip on me. I still felt wildly aggressive. As I rolled him over on his back and mounted him, I bent down and started biting his chest. He responded like he was possessed. He grabbed my ass, immobilizing me, and pounded his cock into my cunt. Harder and harder he forced himself into me, bruising and battering me. I arched my back and positioned myself so that the head of his cock rammed into my g-spot. The orgasm started building in me with the first thrust. A scream was ripped from deep inside me as the sexual build up plateaued. My cunt pulsed and throbbed, gripping his cock as the orgasm subsided, my body shuddered, satisfied and satiated.

“Where do you want it?” he asked me.

“Mouth.” I responded, “mmmm, num.”

He pulled his cock out of me and started stroking it, aiming it at my face and open mouth. It started squirting, hitting me on the cheek before I grabbed it with my hand and guided it into my waiting mouth. I stroked him with my hand, sucked his head into my mouth and started swallowing the load of cum that was shooting into me. My lips humming to stimulate his dick even more.

“I love how you taste,” I said to him while i kissed his shrinking cock.

“I love how you fuck,” he replied, getting out of bed to go get showered and ready for work.

I laid in bed, stretching and content, waiting for him to get done with work.

Today was my interview, not Thursday. I think it went pretty well. A lot of the duties I would be performing are procedures I did as an undergraduate. What I would be doing is tasks designed to understand the biochemical and molecular events that lead to the deposit of long chain fatty acids. (If I were a bitch, I could respond here with, “Eat less, Fatty!” Wow, I guess I’m a bitch). I don’t know if working in an obesity clinic is going to be the best fit for me. My own personal opinion about why people are overweight is that they eat too fucking much and they don’t exercise. What we are searching for is the modern molecular equivalent to the Roman showers of days past, where people can overindulge and not pay the price for it. Although, Roman showers did have a price. When they vomited, the stomach acid caused the degradation of their teeth and ulcers in their mouth. That must have been attractive.

I’m going to quit being mean and crawl in bed with Michael.

I love laying naked in bed in the morning after I wake up. No rush to do anything. I’m going to miss it when I go back to work. Not that I’ve found anything yet but I do have an interview at the U of M on Thursday. It’s for a position as a junior scientist in the obesity center. Wish me luck. Although if I had my way, I would rather be lounging in bed until noon and teasing my boyfriend while he sleeps.

And what can I tell you about my boyfriend? His name is Michael, he’s 27, a mechanical engineer that makes products for the health care industry. He’s incredibly handsome with gorgeous brown hair and penetrating eyes. He works with my baby brother, my family loves him and I have a hard time keeping my hands off of him. I don’t know how kinky he is so I haven’t volunteered any information about some of my favorite past times.

I am so physically attracted to him. My clitoris starts to throb when he walks into the room, my body tingles and I want to grind up against him. And when we’re alone, like we have been this weekend, having sex is all we do. He is physically fit and has incredible energy. He’s a great kisser, he’s just all around good with his mouth. He uses his finger to find my g-spot and stimulates it until I scream. He leaves me feeling weak and shaky. God, I love it. The weirdest thing about him is that he’s uncircumcised. I can’t tell the difference when he’s hard because the skin pulls back away from the head but when he’s soft, it is the funniest looking thing I’ve ever seen. I tried blowing it up a little like a balloon but I used a little too much force, he screamed and scrambled away from me. I felt so bad, I almost cried.

As for kink, he does like to tickle me and he loves to wrestle. It would be great if he wanted to tie me up and spank me. I dream about it.

I’m looking for work again. I thought about going back to school to be a nurse but I think I’ll hold off on that for a while. I need to be employed so I can spend money again. Having my dad’s fingers in my finances has curtailed my fun spending. He’s critical of my spending habits. I need money for sexy clothes and shoes and toys. I want breast implants too. Unless I find a master who is rich and generous, I need to get busy and make some cash.

I want to do research instead of production this time. I’ve been looking at positions at the U of M. It would be fun to be in an academic setting again. One of the problems I can forsee is the arrogance of the graduate students. They might be harmful to my tender ego. I’m pretty sure it will be better than the mindless repetition of a production lab where the only excitement after the initial novelty wears off is the stress of meeting deadlines.

Enough about work, it’s time for PLAY!!!

This is what I’ve been practicing with all the time I have on my hands. This has been so much fun. I could tie people up for a living. I’ve decided to go to shibaricon. It starts in a couple of weeks and I’ve already registered. YAY!!! Are you worried that your little submissive girl is going to become a controlling, dominant woman? Don’t worry, I just like to have fun and I’ve always liked to top. I’m flying to chicago on the 22nd and staying with a friend until Monday. I can hardly wait.

Kisses everyone.

Brandi

I’ve been gone so long, I don’t even know where to start. I can tell you a lot has happened since I last wrote. I’m going to start off by pointing out that I have a new look for my blog. The pink haired icon is so me with my neon pink wig. The wigs in general have been fun to play dress-up and roleplay. My own hair has grown back in enough that i can tell my natural hair color. It is dark blonde/light brown…I can’t decide which. I definately like my blonde hair best.

Having fun with my new hair is probably the least important thing that has come out of the accident. The biggest, most important event is the settlement I got from the accident. The guy that hit me has to pay a good deal of money for the “pain and suffering” he caused me.

My dad hired the lawyer to protect me and I’m grateful that he did. My dad still exerts a lot of control over my life. For example, the money I got from the accident. He’s acting as my financial advisor and taken control of my money. His suggestions have the force of a law for me, I would no more defy him than Newton’s apple would defy gravity. Why, you may ask yourself, would an independent, adult woman kowtow to her father like this? I have a number of reasons. Because obedience is as much a part of my makeup as my blue eyes. Because I know he has my best interest at heart. Because I am not the best at money management (OK, frankly, I am one of the worst people I know for spending money frivolously). The first thing I thought of when I found out about the money was “YAY, I can afford breast implants.” Not the most sensible purchase I could make, is it? I’m still trying to figure out a way to get enough money from him for the surgery. Explaining a 10k expenditure at a doctor’s office would be difficult. I’m trying to think of a go around so that he doesn’t know. Yes, my obedience is laced with a very slight bit of deceit but only when I want to spare his feelings.

There is a lot more to fill you in on but that has been the biggest event. I still have no master and no boyfriend. I’ve had a lot of play time in private dungeons and intent voyeurism in my favorite public dungeon. I went to a shibari workshop. I need to practice now and have been using the male submissives at the public dungeon, they are a willing bunch of men. Most of them want to make me their goddess. I just roll my eyes at that, I love topping but I was not put on this earth to dominate. It is more alien to me than the hentai fantasies that I love.

I can’t believe the difference! It makes me want to post, post, post!

I feel like I am home.

Just got back to my apartment last night. I went home to get babied by Mom. On top of the accident and my weird fucked up brain injury, I got a bladder infection. I felt like the universe was against me. It burned every time I peed. So, whenever i peed, I would start crying. And, every time I cried my head would ache, which made me feel even more sorry for myself, because I felt like I would never be normal again. OK, I realize it’s a little pathetic, an adult woman needing mommy and daddy but, fuck it, it worked. I feel refreshed and loved and pumped full of sunshine.

I am seriously pissed off at my company. I called yesterday to see if I would have a job to come back to when I get healed and human resources are talking in circles. They need to have more information from me to make a decision, information that I don’t have right now. I know I’m going to be out at least 4-6 weeks for the collarbone. Who knows about the head, I told them I meet with a neurologist tomorrow and will find out more and let them know. They reminded me that I was still in a probationary period. Does that sound like I have my job still? Probably not. I tried to talk to my supervisor and he hasn’t returned my call. I knew it was a bad idea to fuck him.

I tried to play video games today. Guitar hero is out of the question for now, I can’t hold the guitar without my breastbone screaming in pain. Even holding a controller makes me hurt, so only in small doses. I ended up watching Harry Potter movies and that was pretty satisfying.

I talked with Master Leo yesterday and that was satisfying too. He ran me through my paces. I was so horny and needed his attentions so much. I don’t have the energy to put much into self-spanking or masturbating but I tried my hardest. He told me I was a good girl even though I wasn’t living up to my potential.

I am taking oxycodone for my pain. A low dosage because doctors are worried about the affect it may have on my brain. I have 2 doctors for all this, a neurologist for my head and my general practice doctor for my bumps and breaks and bruises. I’m going to complain to the neurologist about my pain and see if I can’t get the dosage increased. The drugs get out of my system before i am scheduled to take my next dose.

My life consists of sleeping, watching movies (tv too) and masturbating with guys who call me. The last activity is by far my favorite so call me. Play with me.

That’s right. I was in a coma for 2 days following a car accident. I was driving home Thursday night after a play party and a guy going too fast on the icy roads went out of control and hit me head on. The blood vessels in my brain had burst and they had to do surgery to stop the bleeding. The coma was actually drug induced by the doctors after the surgery to give my brain a chance to heal.

How am I now? OK, I think. I hurt like hell, bruises all over me, broken collar bone from the way I hit my seat belt. They don’t know if I’m going to have long term affects, it’s too early to tell. My parents are just glad I’m not a veg. They were scared, I could see it. Nothing like a near death experience for my parents to create an overprotective barrier around me. Twenty-five years old is too old to be moving back in your parents house.

I’m finally back in my apartment. The only reason I’m allowed this freedom is on the condition that my younger brother stays with me. This is more than acceptable since he knows me and won’t restrict my life. I was going crazy with the parents constantly looking over my shoulder.

I don’t know what’s going to happen with my job. I don’t qualify for short or long term disability because I haven’t been there long enough. So, no pay from them while I’m healing. I don’t know if I have a job to go back to. I’m giving them a call tomorrow. I haven’t asked my doctor when I can go back to work. I’m still a little doped up for the pain. I see a neurologist on Wednesday to get some tests done. Maybe I’ll find out when I can go back to work then.

My dad hired a lawyer to deal with the insurance company, I’m glad he’s taking care of it. The fella who hit me has insurance but they don’t want to pay enough in my dad’s opinion. He’s thinking long term, and I’m not thinking at all, just resting.

I have discovered something about me after all of this. I am not an attractive girl. My hair has been completely shaved and I am ugly. It makes me cry. The bruises and the baldness make me look like something in a horror movie. And the weight loss from not eating while I was drugged up has made me lose my already meager breasts. I could pass for a boy, a really ugly boy who cries like a sissy.

I need love and support. I need all my niteflirt friends to call me and help me out. I will be home all the time since I’m too hideous to be seen in public. You have to call and keep me company. I need you.